The way people react to you, be it anger, eye-rolling, ridicule, facial expression, etc., has more to do with them than with you, it’s their way of dealing with situations in life. Every person’s way of dealing with situations has come about through the way they were brought up and their past experiences. It has nothing to do with you. Your advantage is being aware of it. Having this awareness helps to better react to social situations, focusing on yourself rather than letting other people’s reaction trigger irrational reactions on your side, which lead to a an emotional avalanche that is hard to control.

“Nobody actually thinks about you or cares about you” and even if they do it’s for a very brief and irrelevant moment, therefore there is no reason to feel embarrassed, anxious or over conscious of every movement you make.

In The charisma myth by Olivia Fox Cabane, she summarizes human charisma as a combination of three behavioral characteristics: Presence, Power, Warmth. Being aware of these to the point they become second nature can improve how one is perceived in social situations while focusing on themselves. Although the focus is on oneself, understanding signals from the environment is important to know how to tune these characteristics in accordance with the social situation. This also includes ideas such as reduced affirmations, eye contact and mirroring. Finally, in the book there is a similar idea regarding being too aware of what people think, where she says that everybody has the same thoughts and concerns, and once one realizes it it makes dealing with social situations much easier.